Yellow Fever

Its much easier to date men of my own race over any other. Why? For several reasons.

1. We have more in common. Guys with a similar cultural background and upbringing most often means we’ll share the same values & morals.
2. Asian guys are more attractive. Well, that’s my personal taste (although the good looking ones are hard to find).
3. Higher comfort level. I can be more of myself around those of the same race. Sometimes I don’t have to explain myself and they understand and know where I’m coming from. There won’t be any cultural misunderstandings.
4. The prevalence of non-Asian guys with Yellow Fever. Most guys that approach me make some statement about my ethnicity. I often have doubts that they will see beyond my Asianess.

WAIT, WHAT IS YELLOW FEVER?

Here’s a recap for those that don’t know. According to UrbanDictionary, the definition for yellow fever is as follows:

1.	yellow fever	772 up, 176 down
	(a) A sexual obsession towards females of Asian descent. An Asian-American girl was harassed by some psycho who had a bad case of yellow fever. Fortunately, she had a can of Mace(tm) in her purse and did not hesitate to use it on him.

Synonyms: Asian Fetish, Asiaphilia.

Vickie Chang wrote an article in the Village Voice describing Yellow Fever from the perspective of Asian women (props to Ed from Bitter Asian Men who found this article). She sums up exactly how I feel:

Asiaphilia brings with it a set of more intimate considerations. I get to wonder if the man chatting me up is genuinely interested in me or interested in the idea of what he supposes me to be: demure and submissive, the forever-faithful geisha girl/bedroom toy.

Now, I know there are exceptions–non-Asian guy friends who do get to genuinely know you and may end up really liking you. But I’m talking about guys you just meet or are approached by. Guys you don’t know at all.

I’ve gotten so many different comments from these kinds of guys. Most often they’ll state how they find Asians attractive. Other times, they’ll inquire about my ethnicity.

“Where are you from?” they’ll ask.

“New Jersey.”

“No, where are you really from?”

“I’m American.”

And yes, I can’t hide the fact that I’m Chinese. But I always have these underlying doubts. I automatically assume that if a non-Asian guy approaches me, they must have a case of Yellow Fever. Is this wrong?

Most of these doubts have formed based on my upbringing and past experience. I feel that few non-Asian guys do take notice of me. I’m originally from a small, mostly Italian populated white town. Just about me and my family make up the Asian population. Minorities are a tiny, tiny percentage. Growing up in this community, I felt ugly. I never got the attention from other guys. But once I moved out to Boston, where there is a decent Asian community, I felt prettier and more comfortable in my own skin. I get more attention and comments saying “so and so thinks you’re pretty” which makes me feel validated and accepted only within my own race. The perception of beauty differs according to different cultures. I don’t feel attractive to other races without the Asian exotic factor in play. They’re intertwined and can’t be separated.

And this is why it’s harder to date outside of my race. It makes sense to make these assumptions.

What do you think? Can you simply separate race from physical attractiveness without being biased?